The Right Words at the Right Time.....

So this has been something that has been on my mind the last few weeks.  Many times a thought, a compliment, or an idea will pop into my mind, and more often than not I brush it away.   Over the last month or so, however I have been trying to slow down and really acknowledge those thoughts....  The name of the person I haven't talked to in years, or a comment someone made that if I think deeper about could tell me so much about the state of their heart.

Each one of us has experienced the life we have because of both a series of our own choices and by God's design.  We are who we are for a reason and we may not ever know that reason, but it is our job to be who we are and share our hearts with others in hopes that we can connect with them and reach into those deep places where they may not even know there is hurt or pain.

The reason this is heavy on my heart begins about a month ago when I had someone's name so heavy on my heart that I couldn't get it out of my mind.  We are just acquaintances really, however in order to clear the heaviness I messaged her through Facebook (since I don't have her number) and come to find out she had been praying for someone who could just pray for her.  To feel that urge and to have confirmation that it was God's voice made my heart leap and my mind a little more sensitive to those urges.

Fast forward a few weeks and I was hosting an AdvoCare mixer.  During my mixers I always share my story, where I was when I found the opportunity with AdvoCare.  Sometimes it can be tough to be so transparent and admit some of the feelings of failure as a mom I was having during that time.  However I feel that in order to touch other's lives and really help them to change and reach their goals I must be transparent in my pain.  After that mixer I was talking to someone who said "I really thought you had gotten info about me before because I felt  like that part of your story was aimed straight at me"  To continue to talk to her and know that she is making strides and gaining confidence and encouragement in being a mom who now has the energy and excitement be engaged with her babies has once again made my heart leap.

And then there was today.  A dear friend came over for a visit.  She brought coffee and just sat and chatted.  As we chatted, my dreams and goals with AdvoCare came up.  And to be honest, today I was in a place where I felt a little defeated.  As she spoke words of encouragement to me, they not only went in my mind but reached deep into places of my heart I didn't know where feeling doubt.  It just continues to amaze me how far a small gesture (like bringing coffee) or a nice word (one of encouragement) can change the course of a person's day, and in my case maybe even the course of my journey to achieve my dreams, because my heart has been lifted up by (what I'm sure this friend thought) were "just a few kind words"

So as you continue on your journey I urge you to slow down, pay a little more attention, and don't brush off the fleeting thoughts of those around you.  You never know what a small word of encouragement or love will do to the course of someone's hour, day, month, year, or life.  And don't be afraid to lift others up, encourage them, and love on them. I promise the more you pay attention to these things, the more you will experience them in your own life.

Free to Dream

Where does your mind go in the silence?  When there is nothing distracting it.  Those moments right before you fall asleep and you are too tired to worry about the things weighing you down.  Where does your mind go?

I'll let you in on a little secret, here's where my mind goes: 

Many times as I let my mind wander it often wanders to the people in my life.  I think about them and their situations and circumstances.  I think about their struggles and troubles and worries.  And then I find myself imagining them telling their story of the day that all went away.  The day that they found freedom and their life changed.  The day that money wasn't a worry, or their difficult child began to obey.  The time where their marriage was repaired, or their depression was lifted.  The time when they slept through the night and woke up rested and not afraid to face the day. 

As I hear these stories in my mind, told by the people I care the most about, my heart burns and stomach leaps.  

This is dreaming, this is hoping, this is love.... 

Many of you wonder why I have a passion for AdvoCare, and this is why.  I believe that God has given me a vehicle that will allow my family and others to dream again.  To make the thoughts of my late night daydreams come true.  To help people find whatever they need to face another day.  Whether it be a boost of energy to make it through that moment when they want to sit down and quit because they feel as if they take one more step they will not make it.  Whether it is those few extra dollars that will pay that bill and take a little stress off their shoulders so they can lay their head on their pillow for one night and just sleep, without stress, without worry, just sleep.  Whether it is a quest for significance.  The feeling of helping someone else accomplish their goals give you a great feeling of accomplishment and significance.  Whether it is to lose 1 or 100 lbs.  Whether it is to hear a message of a savior that doesn't care who you are, where you are, what you've done, or where your life is at, you are free.  You have been saved and washed clean, and watching the freedom that brings.  Whether it is a shoulder to cry on, or a boost of confidence.  No matter what, everyone is looking for something and I love that I have found the confidence in myself to help them try to find it.

When I dream about my family I dream of the day we are all together every day (yes I do understand the kids have to go to school someday)  I dream of the day we get to say "yes" to freedom and "no" to debt.  I am so excited for the day that we spend our day helping other families have what we have worked so hard for.  I am really excited for the day that I get to show my children the world.  Life, it's worth fighting for.  Maybe some of my goals will not come true, but what is life without dreams and goals?

This journey is one of bumps and bruises.  Ups and downs.  Tears, laughs, failures, and accomplishments.  It is a journey that I would not change for the world.  As I become more of the person that I was created to be I hope to lock arms and hope that people join me.

"If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything"

What a year it's been!

Every year I try to sit down and reflect on the year it's been.... and every year the new year seems to sneak up on me.  This year seems to be different, as soon as December 26th hit, I felt an excitement and longing for a fresh start come over me.  The holiday season is over, why wait 7 more days to get back on track and get going again?

So as I sit here with the littlest member of my family down for a nap and the other two out and about I think about the year that has passed and I can't help but feel a sense of awe.  What a year this has been... In the past year I have felt more emotion than I thought ever possible.  I have seen strength inside myself that I didn't know I had, and I have felt more broken than I knew any human could feel.  I have been felt elated, and I have felt deflated.  I have felt sure of my calling, and I have questioned if I'm even capable of getting out of bed. I have felt like a great mom, and I have felt like I was failing my babies beyond words.  In looking at the emotional roller coaster of the year, I cannot help but see God's gentle grace woven through each and every moment.  The moments of joy, and the moments where it was only by His hand that I kept going.   

This year (like most) began with much anticipation.  Goals and dreams for the year, the excitement and wonder of how the year would play out.  Our AdvoCare team was on a roll, people were getting fantastic results and excited to start a new year feel better than they ever imagined.  We were expecting our second baby, pumped about the new member of our family.  The excitement was almost too much to handle.  I LOVE the feeling of joy and excitement bubbling from so deep inside you can't control it.

February brought some challenges.  Nate came down with pneumonia which he struggled with for over a week and took a month or so to get strength back, and I (at 30 weeks pregnant) got the flu.  It was a rough time around our house.  Sickness and exhaustion can steal so much of your joy it is unbelievable.  We all struggled during that time, but as I look back I can now see that God's hand of protection and grace was upon us keeping us safe and healthy.  He protected the baby that was growing inside of me even though I couldn't get off the couch.  He protected Ava and kept her from getting sick at all.  Grace overflows.

After getting healthy another hurdle cam our way.  At 33 weeks I wasn't feeling well one day at work and went to triage to find out my blood pressure was up and I was contracting and 3cm dilated.  You guessed it... bed rest for me.  When mom goes on bed rest and hands every aspect of life to daddy, that is a challenge in and of itself.  I struggled with feeling helpless and Nate struggled under the pressure of providing and taking care of our family alone.  Gods mercy and love overflowed at this time.  Even in the midst of the exhaustion and stress Nate and I were able to communicate and continue to grow our marriage.  Ava seemed unscathed by the experience and at almost 36 weeks we had a healthy baby boy.  The protection given to our family is beyond words.  I cannot thank God enough that Andrew was born healthy with no issues at all and at 7lbs 1oz he never looked back and continued to thrive.

One of the hardest weeks of the year was the week Andrew was born.  3 days after he was born Ava got her tubes in her tonsils and adenoids out.  Being 3 days postpartum and sending my 2 year old in for surgery was really really hard, but the hardest part was I wasn't able to give her my undivided attention during recovery.  She did great, but it was really hard to have to figure out how to care for a newborn who took every waking min. and how to love and care for my hurting child.  I felt broken, deflated, and spread thin, not to mention the sleep deprivation.  During that time I learned a lot about myself and just how strong I can be in the midst of feeling pulled in a thousand directions with very little rest.

The second half of the year brought a whole new set of challenges, as Nate traveled a lot for work and took on an extra project for work I spent my time learning how to adjust to having two babies who needed my constant attention.  I came home from work to build our AdovoCare business and often found myself overwhelmed with the idea of surviving.  I was confused and overwhelmed, frustrated, and I felt stuck.  I often caught myself praying in anger "just how am I supposed to do all of this, I'm barely surviving!!!!!" I had a hard time finding where God's hand was in all of that.  It seemed like I was fighting alone (honestly finding myself overwhelmingly lonely at times) and didn't know what he was doing.  I realized just recently at Nate's Christmas party talking to another wife that God was there, and he was teaching me that I truly can't do it on my own.  When I try I feel overwhelmed and broken, but every time I would cry out for help (yes even if it was an angry cry) His quiet hand would pick me up and give me the strength to make it through one more day.  Since I have learned that lesson, it is so much easier to be filled with his strength, getting up in the middle of the night (though still frustrating) isn't the end of my world.  It brings new meaning to the words "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

In November I went to Ladies Alive, an AdvoCare conference (also the start of this blog) and it was exactly what I needed.  Through that day I felt alive, I felt like I had found a little of myself I had forgot existed.  I felt confident and worthy, and I loved it....

then I came home and the plague hit... 

Andrew and Ava both got RSV and pneumonia followed up with the stomach flu... through Thanksgiving....  Then I got the stomach flu and Nate got a sinus infection.  Here comes exhaustion and fatigue.  It seems like it never ends...

Christmas came quick this year, I feel like December came and went in the blink of an eye...

Christmas Eve night I got one of the best gifts I've ever received.  The gift of encouragement.  Nate put in tons of thought and effort to give me a gift of various ways to encourage me on my journey to become the woman God has created in me.  A gift to encourage me during my journey of reaching out and changing lives with AdvoCare.  It reached to my heart and renewed that spark I felt back in November when I felt that woman coming alive.

December 26 was a day of awakening.  Why wait til the new year to begin chasing our dreams?  We started our AdvoCare 10 day cleanse to get rid of the holiday gunk, but also to mentally get rid of 2013 and ready for the fresh clean start the new year brings.  

2 days later I felt energetic and fired up for the new year.  Down 6lbs and feeling amazing.  I forgot how good you can feel when you take great care of your body....  But that doesn't just apply to your body.... I think sometimes we get into patterns and forget how great you can feel when you take good care of your spirit, family, marriage, and any other relationships in your life.  We get into a pattern of mediocrity and forget what really being alive feels like.  

So as I sit here and look through the past year I see that we faced many challenges.  There were some great celebrations and some great hurdles.  Many of my goals for this year went unmet, and many people would look upon that with sadness and disappointment.  I am choosing to look back on this year and learn, knowing that a new year is like turning to a fresh blank page.  I'm choosing to look on 2014 with prayerful eyes and a renewed passion and motivation.  The year end review is always good to see what God did, where we stayed connected and where we skewed, what worked toward our goals and what didn't with the idea of redirecting our path, learning from our mistakes  and making 2014 a whole new experience.  

I have so many hopes and dreams for this year (saved for another post).  I pray this year is the year for my family, but more I pray this year is the year for your family.  My goals for this year all center around looking outside of myself and into the world and finding the places where I can be used.  My goals are to help encourage and grow others in their faith, finances, and health.  This year I would like to continue to become the woman that God is calling me to be (and to continue to figure out just who that is).  I want to help bring smiles and hope to people's lives.  I want to make 2014 the best year yet for me and for you.

If your 2014 could look any way you wanted it to what would it look like?  Don't lay down your dreams only to watch others achieve theirs.  This year let's all run for our dreams and enjoy the journey on the way!

Happy New Year Everyone

The beginning of it all

For me the first post is the hardest.  I have so many things to say and no idea where to start.  So for tonight I will just start with what spurred the idea to create this blog.

This blog was designed to track a journey, a journey to not only become more, but to become me.

My mom's Bible study did a series on finding your mission.  Finding what sets your blood boiling and your adrenaline pumping and your heart racing for furthering God's kingdom.  But it was more than that, it was a challenge to look to your past and to remember where you came from and realize that good and bad all of that made you who you are today.  Who you are today is a unique design for a place in the lives around you that only you can fill.   Sounds simple huh?  Well if you think that's a simple task you haven't sat down and really thought about it.  That's a big question.... what's your mission?  What defines you?  You as a person, not you as a mom, not you as a wife, or a nurse, or a friend, or a sister, or a ___________, but you.... just you?   Having a hard time?  So am I..... There are so many labels the world puts on us to define us that mask who we truly are.... and ripping off those labels to get to the core of ourselves is not a destination... it's a journey.

After reading that, how are you feeling?  Is there something stirring inside of you?  There was/is in me.  When that challenge came across my plate it had been so long since I had thought about myself, my passion, my purpose, my mission that I was dumbfounded where to start.  If that's how you feel I hope you will stick with me, go on this journey with me, join me in finding the unique place that we each fill that no one else in all eternity will ever be created to fill (cool huh?)

So where to start?  

The first thing that I decided to figure out is what gets my blood boiling and my heart racing. I have been blessed to be able to pinpoint that very quickly.  Through my opportunity with AdvoCare I have discovered that I LOVE people.  I love to help people, to see them accomplish things they never knew were possible.  I have a passion for health and improving quality of life.  You only get one life so let's make it the best, and when someone has a desire to improve the quality of their life, they make a commitment to lock arms with me on this journey and I get to walk with them and see their eyes as their life changes it's an amazing feeling.  I know how my heart jumps with joy when someone learns to love themselves and value themselves again, I can only imagine how big God smiles when he sees us realize how to value our place in His kingdom and live it out.

Knowing what your passionate about is great, but the struggle for me is figuring out how that related with my life and how to make it happen....

I was sitting in a room of 875 women getting fired up and poured into when I heard a woman named Robbie Page speak, and she was speaking about love.  The thing I realized that day was I'm really good at loving others, but terrible at loving myself.  And without loving and believing in yourself you are limited on what you can do for others.....  One of the things she said was "it's so much about you that it's not about you" that struck me because I realized it's not selfish to love yourself and to realize who you are matters, it's actually the beginning of being successful at loving others around you fully and without limits.  It's the beginning of your impact and your impression on the world.  Loving yourself enough to know your unique qualities, the things that make you, you, is necessary to be able to know where you fit best in the world around you.  Loving yourself is hard and feels wrong, but it is a beautiful, wonderful, amazing, (nearly impossible) thing....   

and the fire in my belly started to burn......

and I realized that all women need to learn to be inspired and empowered...

and I began to see where I want to be, where I want to go, and how I want to feel....

Stick with me and hold on tight this is going to be a journey you don't want to miss =0)